momknowsbetter

Children think they know.. but they have noooo idea!

Day one

Day one of driving is done! Seattle Washington to Ashland Oregon. A few potty breaks, lots of music, some movies, coloring books, and a nap!
Now it’s bedtime at the Holiday Inn!

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Funny Reality

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Thought I’d share some wife humor ūüôā

Speaking of humor.. all relationships need it. I know mine does. Thankfully, my husband and I share a very similar sense of humor. We enjoy the same comedians, we both think that animals doing funny things, sports bloopers, and kids hitting their dad in the groin with baseball bats are hilarious (IT IS!!).

We could each come home in the worst mood, we had our own issues to deal with at work, we don’t want to talk about it over dinner, in fact, we don’t wanna talk to each other at all. The dishes get done in silence. We go to bed. One of us will start watching youtube videos. The other scootches over to see. We are still silent. Next thing you know, a cat dressed in a shark costume is sitting on a roomba with a baby duck. (If that doesn’t make you laugh…) Humor has saved the evening! We don’t rely on humor to keep our relationship strong or to fix anything. But it is for sure a help!

Being married now for 66 days (longest I’ve ever been married!¬†ūüėČ woohoo! ), I am far from a¬†professional when it comes to relationships and marriage. I’m a pre-rookie. I just made that up..¬† If I thought that I knew what arguments were, or what it means to compromise.. I was wrong. Married compromises and arguments, or as we call them, discussions,¬†are soo different! You can’t just say “You’re wrong, I don’t want to be your wife anymore.” Being married is tough work! Not that I’m complaining, I absofrickenlutely love it! But It doesn’t get easier once you’re married! I wouldn’t say I’m learning that the hard way, I’m just learning it.

And on top of having to share a home with 2 smelly boys (one is 5 and the other is 27) I am non-stop researching Alameda, California for our upcoming move!! We leave in 23 days!! I’m looking for a place to live, a job, and activities for Dylan and I to get involved with so he can meet some kids before he starts kindergarten! I am doing all of this while working at my current job. Vacation anyone? Yes Please!

So once again, If you want to help me out with a job or rental home, I will be your best friend! ūüôā

 

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Mmmmm coffee!

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Hi Ken, I’m Barbie.

Is there a rule that a beautiful person HAS to marry an equally beautiful person? No? Ohhhhohoho no no no.. I think there is. And once you have become said amount of beautiful, and of the legal age, I believe there is an agreement that you are required to sign, stating that you WILL marry a person of equal to or greater than beauty to yours.

Exhibit A: Miley Cyrus and Liam Hemsworth just announced that they are engaged.

I’m not saying im a Hannah Montana fan, but I did watch (and bawled my eyes out in the first 20 minutes) The Last Song, in which these two love birds co-stared in. It is hard to deny that she is pretty, some might say beautiful, I would not call her sexy.. she is 19! thats.just.wrong.

Liam on the other hand.. I would not hesitate to call him a delicious hunk of yum! Have you heard him talk?! That Australian accent is.to.die.for! I have not yet seen The Hunger Games, but I’m hoping he takes his shirt off at least once in it..??

As I wipe the drool from my chin, I have to admit that they are a beautiful couple. Wishing you many years of happy Hollywood marriage (cause we all know how those turn out..). Advice: Don’t ask Kim K. for marriage advice. And pleeeeaaaaassssseee, as much as I want to follow your every day lives, don’t get a reality show.

Exhibit B: Victoria (Posh Spice) and David Beckham

I don’t think two HOTTER people could be together! These two for sure got hold of the agreement and signed on the dotted line.

Unfortunately, I don’t think all beautifuls were told about said agreement..

Exhibit C: Christina Aguilera and Jordan Bratman

She is hot. He is not

Exhibit D: Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony

She is hot. He is not

In my short presentation above.. you can clearly see that if you sign the agreement, you will have beautiful babies and be married for a long time! If you don’t sign the agreement, you will still have beautiful babies, most likely divorce, and possibly turn into a train wreck.
We can all hope for a Barbie and Ken relationship.. I know I am!
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Another one bites the dust

Saturday night, 11:15pm, Dylan is asleep in the backseat, my brother is falling asleep in the front seat, I am driving home from my aunts house after a family gathering. My brother and I had been raising our eyebrows at a funky noise coming from the hood of my car. When I pressed the gas we heard a clicking/flapping sound. Bro thought a belt was loose, no biggie, we will check it out tomorrow.

HAH!! My car had another plan for us. It died. Battery light comes on, check engine light comes on, and my car turns off. I immediately turn my flashers on and start laughing!!

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By the way, we are on the freeway, crossing the bridge over Lake Washington. There is no shoulder. So I’m stopped in the right lane. And for some reason, everyone was out driving across the bridge at this time! Oh yea, I caused a backup.

Smart drivers who saw my flashers got into the next lane right away, but there still were a few brainiacs who got right up behind me, as if expecting me to all of a sudden start my car and drive off.

Luckily a state patrol came along and was able to push us to the next exit, where we met up with the tow truck and my mom who came to our rescue.

Mechanic says that the engine is toast. So with the thought waves of my mom assisting my own, we decided that I need a new car! Well duh.. But a reeeaaaalll new car!

So here I am, car-less for a few days, driving my dad’s car to work while he is out of town, and graciously accepting if anyone would like to give me a 2011/2012 mid size SUV ūüėČ

Wish me luck on car shopping!!

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Funky photoshoot

All I wanted was for him to smile
Just look at me, hold still, and smile
And this is what I got::

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And finally I settled with this last one::

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Was it so bad to just smile?!?

Silly boy..

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10 Things I Just Don’t Understand

Reposting this because it made me LOL! Thought it was hilarious!

10 Things I Just Don’t Understand.

 

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Tell me more

A few things that Dylan has said lately that make me smile:

Mom, did you know, I was born to be wild?

I need more time. So many minutes that you can’t even point it out!

Mom? Have you ever been eaten by a shark?

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Does Mom really know better?

Dylan’s bedtime story last night was a very large book called ‘Dinosaurs’.¬†However he changed the name to ‘Prehistoric Times’.¬†It is¬†most likely meant ¬†for kids at a 2nd or 3rd grade reading level, even though most of the dinosaur names are SUPER hard to pronounce!

  • Adeopapposaurus
  • Bothriospondylus¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†AHH¬†SERIOUSLY?!?¬†¬†
  • Pycnonemosaurus
  • Micropachycephalosaurus

Since Dylan can’t read yet, he didn’t know that I was COMPLETELY butchering the names. I think I even made up a few of them because I was too lazy to sound them out.

So this book had a few ‘chapters’ like.. The Mesozoic Period, Carnivores, The Jurassic Period, Fossils.. ¬†Each chapter has a¬†brief 1-3¬†paragraph explanation of that¬†topic, and then pictures of examples; types of dinosaur eggs, predators,¬†which¬†animal¬†today is most like a dinosaur,¬†with little captions under each one.

Dylan took it upon himself, being the super intelligent Paleontologist that he is (and I really only know what a Paleontologist is because of Ross from FRIENDS!), to correct me when I was reading. Who cares if I butchered the names of the dinosaurs, it was WAY more important that I know the TRUTH about how fossils are made. “The dinosaur stands really still and his friends bury him in the sand or in the dirt walls, and then humans dig up his bones hundreds of years later”¬†Interesting… Or what baby dinosaurs are called. “That one is called a leopard dinosaur because when it comes out of the egg it has spots like a leopard.” Makes sense..

After a few pages of being corrected, I just asked Dylan about everything instead. He did recognize the Little Foot, Petre, Ducky, and Sara dinosaurs ūüôā

This is another example of the wild and crazy imagination of the mysterious child. I don’t mind hearing him tell me “You’re wrong mooooom.” And yes he draws out the moooooooooom for dramatic emphasis.

Conclusion: Mom knows nothing about dinosaurs ūüėČ

 

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Stories by Dylan: Take 1

Once upon a time there was two little kids, Batman and Spiderman. Spiderman had a pet spider, Batman had a pet bat. And then they went home with their pets, and they played games and went outside and their pets went pee and did tricks. And then they all went inside and drinked¬†cocoa milk, and water, and juice and they¬†drinked¬†cold milk and almond milk,¬†and then they went to bed. And woke up, and went to bed, and woke up. And they were playing together again, and they did that and this and that and this and that. And then they read a once upon a time story together. Batman read a story about bats,¬†Spiderman¬†read a book about spiders. Then they switched. And they played together with toys. Then they made their bed and they just lie down on the bed and packed up their backpacks for school with the other super heroes, like that little green guy… that changes into other stuff, and one of his teeth was sticking out of his mouth. And then they saw Batman’s friend. And then they saw¬†Spiderman’s friend, and then they saw someone else. And they saw… they saw… who else did they see? Oh, they met Captain America and the little green guy’s dad at the little green guy’s house. And there was a guy who had three finger nails that grew and grew and he could cut stuff.

And then they met all the superhero friends, like the super hero squad. Then they went to the playground and it was raining then they all went home with their daddy’s.

THE END

¬†I just learned how bossy Dylan is when it comes to making up stories. If he didn’t think¬†I was typing the correct word, I got in trouble. And he feels as though, being the narrator, he also has the right to add his own typing into the story.. “Mom! Can I press the L?” “Mom! What does S and R and F and 5 spell?” “Mooooooom! Did you say how Batman went to bed?” “Don’t forget to press the G!” “Where is the letter I pressed? Its too small!”

I think I’ve created a monster…

THE END!!!!!!

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